Dear Spouse,
I acknowledge that you are an individual and not just "My Spouse" and I will treat you accordingly. When you do something or say something, I will not be ashamed of you because it is not something I would have done or said. I will fall in love with you more and treasure all our differences as well as our similarities.
I love you always.
P.S. No, this was not written in response to something MY spouse said or did. A friend and I were talking about how our spouses have developed personal relationships with our families and don't just have relationships through us. I was thinking about how one (including myself) has to be very careful not to try to make their (yes, I know I just said one--this is called the singular they or something like that) spouse INTO something. I thought about past crushes and how I adored EVERYTHING about whatever they did. Can't we give our spouses the same level of acceptance? (Of course excepting things that should be excepted. You know what I mean. Really, y'all.) Thoughts anyone?
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8 comments:
So fun to reconnect with you! I hope you don't mind--I decided to follow you!
Sweet!
It's true, what you said about our spouses becoming part of our family. My mom often refers to her two "sons" ("How are my sons doing? Give them hugs for me!")
It's also true about not making your spouse into something. I've seen a few relationships where one spouse gets to this point where the other one can do no wrong (or right), and has become more of a symbol of a person than an actual person to the other spouse. Does that make sense? I've got a lot of pain meds in me right now, so I feel as if I may be rambling...
Two sons? Who's the other?
Ooo. I like what you said about the spouse being a "symbol" of a person. Ever seen "The Philadelphia Story?" (Not Philadelphia. TOTALLY different.) Interesting. Thanks for the thought!
The other "son" is my brother in law, who is our roommate.
No, I've never seen The Philadelphia Story--I was thinking more of Gone With The Wind, where Scarlett thinks she's in love with Ashley, when really all she's in love with is the idealized "image" that she's created for him.
I love how you used the singular "they" and I wish my English instructors had the sense to understand the meaning of such a term. Really, I thought it was obvious that I was talking about one person. I certainly use "they" in speach, why not in writing?
I'm glad you agree. Although I had a professor with an interesting theory about that... Maybe I'll share it sometime.
How wonderful that you have this figured out!!! It usually takes young wives a loooong time, if ever. Love you!
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